Monday, January 30, 2012

Lessons Learned from a Sleepover

To get some more help and perspective in resolving my two-year-long dilemma over whether to keep Fozzie or keep searching for his perfect adopter, recently I decided to let him go on a sleepover with a prospective adopter. This was our friend who had expressed an interest in adopting him, but--for good reason--hasn't been sure. We thought it would be good for both of us to see what it was like to have him with her, and away from me, for a short trial. 


It was a good exercise. As I stood on the curb watching her car pull away with Fozzie's worried face looking out the side, I felt my heart rip in pieces. I felt like a terrible parent, abandoning my baby after going through so much with him. 


That evening, with just two dogs clamoring for attention and space on the bed, the calmness that we experienced was incredible. In the morning, just having to go on one walk was a delight. Lamar was more relaxed. Everything was easier, but we still missed our Fozzie. As many of you have helpfully noted, after two years he really does feel like my dog. And much as I love the others, Fozzie has a sensitivity and a closeness to us that is unique. 


I'm glad Fozzie's back, and Florian is certainly glad. Fozzie slept deeply as soon as he got back, and has seemed even more grateful and sensitive than usual. 


So I won't call it quite an epiphany, more like a few more nails in the coffin of the idea that I could let him go. What its done is made me feel a commitment to him that wasn't there before. Now, since I see how little chance there is that he'll end up with someone else, I get to make him into my little project. I get to take his sensitivity, his intelligence, his gentle mouth, his athleticism and get him to realize his potential in all those ways. This is going to be fun!

17 comments:

  1. AHHH sweet glad you decided to keep the fozz monster :)

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  2. Hi Y'all,

    That's why...

    You never see a foster in our house. My Human Papa is well aware that any dog, not attached firmly to its owner, that enters our house will still be visiting 12, 14, 15 years later.

    I know Fozzie is happy now...look at that sweet face...home sweet home!

    Y'all come by now,
    Hawk aka BrownDog

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  3. Oh Kirsten, I'm so happy for you all I am crying.

    I don't think there is anyone out there that can give Fozzie what you can. The minute I found your blog and saw his sweet face I wondered how you would ever part with him, I know I wouldn't be able to.

    Congratulations to all of you!!

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  4. Wow, that's great! I can't imagine having a foster for so long and giving them up. Mr. Peeps was our longest at only 6 weeks and while we were sad to see him go, I love getting his updates from his new family!

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  5. I think Fozzie's in the best place he can be - home!

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  6. I love how Fozzie sleeps with his head on the pillow. Adorable!
    I love the rare moments when Jay takes our foster to adoption and I'm at home with my two-- so peaceful! But I know when the day comes I am going to miss her like crazy.

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  7. Congrats on your decision to try the sleepover, and then realizing what you learned from it.

    He's home, where he's meant to be :)

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  8. We were so glad to read about your decision to keep Fozzie. These pups do latch on to our hearts.

    Nina, Myshka, Sasha, Betsy. Lucy, Phoebe and Lily

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  9. After two years it seems to me like Fozzie has probably found his forever home---he is in it!

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  10. Hi Y'all,

    Stopped back to invite you to stop after midnight tonight, on the 31st, to collect your "One Lovely Blog Award".

    Y'all come by now,
    Hawk aka BrownDog

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  11. You made a great decision. Fozzie your home!
    Benny & Lily

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  12. Join the rank of the foster fail, like us and Our Best Friend. Some dogs are just meant to be part of the family forever.

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  13. Congratulations to Fozzie's forever home!! Yay!

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  14. glad to see how at home he looks with yall...what a lucky guy!!! Im sure hes happy

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  15. How great you all missed him! Great decision .
    Welcome home Fozzie!

    Big Nose Pokes
    The Thugletsx

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