First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone for your thoughts and kindness on my Mom's passing. In the midst of the sadness and upheaval of losing someone who was such a foundation, a huge comfort has been the support of friends and family.
Another huge comfort has been the dogs. Fozzie is sensitive to every shift in emotion. He knows the moment I have a sad thought, and is lying on top of me, pawing me and resting his head on me, before the thought is even fully-formed.
Lamar has been a sweet goof-man. Lifting his paws at me and wagging whenever I come near, smiling a huge wet happy smile, coming close right along with Fozzie whenever I need a therapeutic dose of dog.
Lady has been her usual happy, loving, sweet self. The very night before my Mom died, an adopter came over who was all ready to take Lady home, and changed her mind when she got here as she realized Lady was probably a bit too much of a barker.
I was not too bummed out, as I hadn't had quite enough of Lady's sweet kisses.
Actually, I thought my Mom would really like to meet Lady. Since the plan was for Mom to come down here with my sister that weekend and look around at places to live, I thought it was perfect that I would still have Lady.
When things didn't turn out that way, I couldn't even think about letting go of Lady for a while. I needed all of my fuzzy, licking, wagging, loving therapists around me.
Now, I am still in disbelief that my Mom is gone, still miss her unbearably, but there are days when I almost feel normal. Days when the crushing guilt dissipates into a more healthy sense of perspective. Days when I remember that my Mom was sick for a while, and that even if I had bought her an air conditioner or called an ambulance when she wouldn't come to the phone her last few days or insisted that she come down to Maryland sooner, there was nothing anyone could have done to prolong her life for very long.
Maybe she would have died in a hospital, where she didn't want to go, or maybe she would have had a prolonged period of suffering, instead of living in relative vigor right up until her final few days.
And no sooner had this clearer sense of perspective come, than Lady's true adopter came along as well.
My neighbor had met Lady right after the other adoption didn't work out, and I was going to speak to her more the next day. Then disaster struck, and I didn't see my neighbor for a few weeks. Then just the other night, Florian and I were coming back from my sister's house where we've been spending a lot of time with my Dad who is going to be moving close by. My neighbor drove by, we talked, I went over the next day to see how Lady liked her house, and now Lady is in her new home!
I think she will be happy there. She has a big yard she can relax in and won't be alone much during the day. My neighbor adores dogs and her last three lived to their teens and passed away within the past year. I'll try not to go by for a while so she can settle in, but my neighbor says I have visitation rights so if I ever need a thorough facial scrub/wet tongue spa treatment, I won't have far to go.
Florian and I are going to New York this week to help my Dad move out of the apartment I grew up in. It is going to be hard to see the familiar place, and feel my Mom there, and know I won't visit anymore. The good thing is, we get to come home with things of my Mom's so that we'll have her with us even more, and we get to bring my Dad back with us too.
And my two Wet Tongue Therapy practitioners will be with us the whole time.