Sunday, August 11, 2013

Healing

First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone for your thoughts and kindness on my Mom's passing.  In the midst of the sadness and upheaval of losing someone who was such a foundation, a huge comfort has been the support of friends and family.

Another huge comfort has been the dogs. Fozzie is sensitive to every shift in emotion. He knows the moment I have a sad thought, and is lying on top of me, pawing me and resting his head on me, before the thought is even fully-formed. 


Lamar has been a sweet goof-man. Lifting his paws at me and wagging whenever I come near, smiling a huge wet happy smile, coming close right along with Fozzie whenever I need a therapeutic dose of dog.

Lady has been her usual happy, loving, sweet self. The very night before my Mom died, an adopter came over who was all ready to take Lady home, and changed her mind when she got here as she realized Lady was probably a bit too much of a barker. 








I was not too bummed out, as I hadn't had quite enough of Lady's sweet kisses. 

Actually, I thought my Mom would really like to meet Lady. Since the plan was for Mom to come down here with my sister that weekend and look around at places to live, I thought it was perfect that I would still have Lady.



When things didn't turn out that way, I couldn't even think about letting go of Lady for a while. I needed all of my fuzzy, licking, wagging, loving therapists around me. 

Now, I am still in disbelief that my Mom is gone, still miss her unbearably, but there are days when I almost feel normal. Days when the crushing guilt dissipates into a more healthy sense of perspective. Days when I remember that my Mom was sick for a while, and that even if I had bought her an air conditioner or called an ambulance when she wouldn't come to the phone her last few days or insisted that she come down to Maryland sooner, there was nothing anyone could have done to prolong her life for very long. 


Maybe she would have died in a hospital, where she didn't want to go, or maybe she would have had a prolonged period of suffering, instead of living in relative vigor right up until her final few days. 












And no sooner had this clearer sense of perspective come, than Lady's true adopter came along as well. 

My neighbor had met Lady right after the other adoption didn't work out, and I was going to speak to her more the next day. Then disaster struck, and I didn't see my neighbor for a few weeks. Then just the other night, Florian and I were coming back from my sister's house where we've been spending a lot of time with my Dad who is going to be moving close by. My neighbor drove by, we talked, I went over the next day to see how Lady liked her house, and now Lady is in her new home!

I think she will be happy there. She has a big yard she can relax in and won't be alone much during the day. My neighbor adores dogs and her last three lived to their teens and passed away within the past year. I'll try not to go by for a while so she can settle in, but my neighbor says I have visitation rights so if I ever need a thorough facial scrub/wet tongue spa treatment, I won't have far to go. 



Florian and I are going to New York this week to help my Dad move out of the apartment I grew up in. It is going to be hard to see the familiar place, and feel my Mom there, and know I won't visit anymore. The good thing is, we get to come home with things of my Mom's so that we'll have her with us even more, and we get to bring my Dad back with us too.

And my two Wet Tongue Therapy practitioners will be with us the whole time. 

12 comments:

  1. I'm so happy for Lady! I've been thinking of you a lot lately. Glad you have family, friends and pets to help you through it. I know it's going to be hard helping your dad this weekend. Hopefully, many bright moments too as you remember all the goodness. Sending my very best hopes and wishes as you navigate through this incredibly sad time.

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  2. Awesome news about Lady! Things happen for a reason, sometimes we might never work the reason out and other times it soon becomes obvious :) This is going to be a very emotional time for your Dad (and you), I hope everything goes smoothly. How is he doing? My best wishes to you all.

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  3. I'm so sorry I missed this and so sorry about your loss :-(

    Very happy to hear about Lady though.

    Take care.

    ~ Katie and Coccolino

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  4. I am so sorry that I didn't know about your mom's passing. We'll be thinking of you.

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  5. Such great news for Lady!

    I'm glad to hear that your puppy therapists are doing their best to help with the healing process. I'm sure that this week will be tough - you are in my thoughts. ((hugs))

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  6. I missed the post about your mom. Please know that I am terribly sorry for your loss!

    And I can understand the feelings about moving your dad, too. I grew up on a farm and my dad is selling it now and moving to town because his Parkinson's makes the upkeep just too much. It's really hard to let the place go, and I just hope that the next family loves it and takes care of it the way my dad has for the last forty years.

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  7. We are happy for Lady and her new home! We will continue to think of you and are glad that you have the support of the Wet Tongue Therapists. Ours have been a tremendous help too.

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  8. Oh, Kirsten, my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your Mom. What wonderful nurse-maids you have when you feel sad. And Lady hit the lottery with her new home especially being close by. Peace.

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  9. it is very generous of you that you adopt dogs, I promised myself that when I will live in a house with a garden I will adopt dogs. You are right people make money by breeding but there are many dogs out there needing home and help. In the meantime I will donate money to the local shelter. At this moment this is what I can do. Grettings to you All!

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  11. Came by to check on the blog again especially to see if Lady was adopted--so pleased to see she was. Nothing better than having her close and knowing that when the time is right you can go see her!

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  12. Hi Kirsten, I'm sure that we missed a lot by not blogging. So we're sorry that we're so late to say that we are really sorry to learn of your mom's passing. My dad's dad passed away almost 10 years ago and my dad says he can still hear his dad's voice. Funny how that is. We really did leave our porch light on before for your mom. And we'll do it again. You've described her so well before that we're sure we'd recognize her if she came by. We'll let you know if she does. Until then, we'll leave the porch light on for her tonight.

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